Wednesday, April 3, 2013

CD 5 and 6...woo freaking hoo.

Yeah, you heard me, woo freaking hoo. I had somehow managed to forget in the last year--since my last clomid cycle-- how much I utterly hate it. HATE IT, I say!!!

Monday was CD 5 for me, meaning day 1 of that damn little pill. About 1:00 or so in the afternoon I felt as if someone had just smacked me in the back of the head with an encyclopedia! I hadn't had a headache like that in a long time. Usually when I get a headache I know it's 1 of 2 things: either 1) I should eat and pee (in a 12-13 hour shift at work sometimes I get so busy I forget about eating and drinking and peeing) or 2) I need coffee. I generally drink 1 cup of coffee in the morning and no more, however when I have a headache sometimes that seems to be the cure. In nursing school I got so used to drinking between 4-6 cups of coffee a day that it took me about a year and a half  just to wean myself back to 1 cup a day. Anyhow, the eating and peeing theory hadn't worked and the coffee didn't even scratch the surface of my headache. It was so bad by the time I got off shift my eyes were watering and I was wondering if I was going to be able to drive home. On the way home my husband called to tell me he had dinner in the oven and asked how my day was. When I told him about my headache his reply was "yeah, don't you remember the last two times you took that pill?" DUH! Here I am the nurse and my husband is pointing out to me my side effects from being on Clomid. Sort of ironic. 

Yesterday was CD 6 and I'm not certain yet that I even want to bring up how awful it was, but I will because you ladies that have been there before will laugh, as all my coworkers did (after the fact and all in good fun of course.) For one, I was quite certain my ovaries were going to rupture yesterday. They hurt! Which scares me a little, but it could also simply mean that it is working and I am just being paranoid after what happened last time. I'd sit down a little hard and that jarring feeling made me jump right back up like something had just bit me. This is where it gets crappy.... At start of shift we had a scheduled C-Section that I went to with another nurse. Baby came out and we did our thing but I noticed the baby was working a little to hard to breathe so we put some blow by oxygen on the baby, took the baby very shortly to see mom so she could kiss her newborn's cheek, assigned apgar scores and took the baby to the nursery with dad to see if it was just a temporary thing that would resolve on it's own. It wasn't so we moved the baby to a bed to put the oxyhood on and such, finished the assessment and called the Doctor. A few minutes passed and the Doctor was finally in the nursery assessing baby and speaking to the dad. All of a sudden tears were rolling down my cheeks that I never even felt coming and I realized I was standing in the middle of the nursery in front of several people crying for no damn reason. Coworkers were looking at me with that "should I ask?" look on their faces (they knew I'd be starting Clomid and had been warned). I gathered myself and carried on. Later in the shift, someone was asking me questions about something and I realized it was as if my brain had suddenly evaporated and came out my ears. Pregnancy brain?.....Anyone else suffered from Clomid brain? I felt confused and forgetful almost all day long, which then upset me more and so on and so forth-- you get the picture. The annoying thing is that I know that it is the Clomid making me feel so crappy, I can recognize it and admit to being ridiculous-- So why, then, do I continue to sob like a small child who just had her lollipop stolen from her hand? To put the icing on the cake, I got home and honestly just wanted to soak in a bath (maybe drown myself too) and go to bed. My husband wanted to be chatty. Amongst all his chattiness he asked when we would be going for our IUI. Very annoyed and bitchy I answered that it would most likely be sometime next week that we would be making the trip to the Dr. after I have a positive ovulation test. Then he had a melt-down. He now has a new boss which he hasn't yet informed of all this, and he was worried about having to call in sick after only about a week of his new boss being there. Being as irritated as I already was with how my day had went and now, after his stupid reply, feeling on the verge of being locked up in a mental institution I decided for both of our safety it would be best if I did not acknowledge his reply and simply nag to myself in the shower and immediately go to bed. 

Today is CD 7. We talked about it this morning and he has decided to let his new boss know what is going on and hope that he will be understanding. I've taken my 3rd pill and am thanking God that I am off for the remaining days of having to take that bastard pill. Hopefully in the safe confines of my home nothing will make me sob uncontrollably today, and if I happen to forget where the vacuum is and how to fold clothes then so be it! :)


  1. I hear you, sister! I was so relieved when I realized I was going to get a break from Clomid. On my second month, I clearly remember an urge to throw my computer across the room, which is totally out of character for me. I had my first ever migraine, with my eyes watering from the pain. And, the feeling that my ovary would explode. I too panic when my husband asks, when is our next IUI? He just started a new job. UGH! Hang in there.

  2. Hugs! In the end, when you're the one who gets to kiss your newborns cheek, you will know its all been worth it!